Ron Splatkinburger's Slightly Daft Book of Poetry

Splatkinburger's Serious Questions

(A Football Team of Questions )

1

The Giraffe is a standard lamp.

So why don't lamp-posts

Have spots?

2

The Lion's mane (male)

Is like a huge feather duster.

So why don't Lions (male)

Lay eggs?

3

The Gazelle is graceful,

Except in soup

Is this true for a hind

Or a bee?

4

Trees have arms.

So why don't they

Shoot bad people?

5

If the world is round,

Why doesn't anyone

Ever hit it

With a cricket bat?

6

If bicycles have the spokes,

Why should the persons

Have the voices?

7

Trees can be made into paper.

Is that why

They're not wrapped?

8

Is it shyness

That makes the Cucumber bend

While the Courgette

Grows green on the stem?

9

What about the Aubergine?

10

Is a plastic dustbin

Made for plastic dust?

What about a wicker basket

Or a paper bag?

11

The sheep is a useful animal.

So why

Is it so thick?

Subs Bench:

Wait here for the anticlimax.

You won't be disappointed.

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